watercat

noli me tangere mundi sum

2011-12-06T02:46:00.000-05:00

i am already here

2011-12-05T14:01:00.000-05:00

without fear, i count

myself so as not to count hours

without

spread out / take in / make lines

open doors from which we are made;

another hope, and then another, all my force in nature

until i sink back into this green earth

forever everything's

the levitating city bus

2011-12-02T17:17:00.001-05:00

THE LEVITATING CITY BUS

(a tale of wonder)

Here she is, a mouse in a trap,
bright-eyed in a hotel, scattered cheese, Mona-Lisa smile.
I haven't got a chance. This stuff is dangerous.

four girls already, sharp enough to cut myself on, bruising
   my limbs on mirrors and machines,
   hiding under (four, six, ten, fourteen.)

It was February and everything was touched with grey
   ice-blue, dirty snow and white. My snowcapped dresses and angel-skirts
      fluttering and coiny, trying so hard to be

like the clouds at the lake where we walked. You on your cell phone,
   preoccupied, barely talking, and me running ahead
       chirping at you like a little bird. I told you I had wings,

I was secretly a fish, a pegasus, a dream you're having
   but you'd only nod your head and ask
       the person on the other line about the litigation. I pressed

forward, taking off my heels and climbing on rocks. One evening
    you and I waited for trains in a cloud of fog, out of earshot of everyone,
        silent, until the train came rattling in and absorbed us. Movement is holy,

though I'd travelled nowhere, and the trip across the county
   took all day. I dressed up, a new bow, a ring
      that really looked like a diamond.

a bottle of perfume on my dresser, an embroidered handkerchief
    in my suitcase, the levitating city bus come to take me where you're waiting
      leaning on your car. The whole night I couldn't sleep, Nina Simone

singing in my head, "like a leaf clings to a tree, darling cling to me;"
    and my dress too strange around my legs for me to rest,
       and your face like the rind of an orange against mine

hell is a long time, and the lights don't flicker like a dormatory,
    like a street alley, all those horrid places
        (breathe deep into the blanket, close your eyes
all I hear is the hushing sound of blood through veins.)

I've got this cold untouchable water, the sound of the rails
and the toxic drip through the bridge wall;
    dirt on my knees where I climbed to enjoy a solitary picnic

amongst the graffiti. You've got cold tile, the grins
   under hotel lights that I want so bad,
      clawing through the rented pillows and liquor cabinet

I've got you, I've got you. I am a balloon bloating
    ragged through this booby-trapped world. I get consumed. I dull
       but now and then you cut through the cataracts and I wake,

delighted and ashamed

my advice?

2011-10-09T22:37:00.000-05:00

your ticket

2011-08-28T21:54:00.000-05:00

you might wanna give up your ticket
but don't put mine on the table,
don't think you know right,
right is mine.

yours is a train ride
to hell.
i gotta get up bright eyed and singing,
i gotta get off here.

i don't want your magic,
the kind that turns compliments into insults,
the kind that burns away trust

i don't know why you want to bury your face in death.

i can't
choke on you, not for a day
i can't suffocate here
for a minute, though it's lovely
at first i start to make
dust
from myself & pull my teeth out
in front of the mirror and reverse-age

don't pass your sadness out
like brochures for a concert,
like business cards

god knows
what you are and god
knows what you are
and i know
what you are and god knows
what you are

maybe not

2011-08-26T12:45:00.000-05:00

I'm also pretty sure
of what i won't miss, but the mind
plays tricks- writes & re-writes
and our strange story never seems done.

i always say, this will be
my last poem for you
i don't know if that's true but nothing seems clear anymore.
i'm not mad and i'm not gone.
for what it's worth:
stash it in your metal heart, and move on.

slow & sudden, rather - it hit

2011-08-20T00:05:00.000-05:00

(Allegro Hotel, Chicago. 16th Floor. July 2006)

I AM CERTAIN
of the things i'll miss,
   resisting is bliss
(but it's simpler to submit)
written argument spent
heavier on lines - finding
solace in pages, pleasure in some
never-ending supply

My own hope
is a floating one, but I
am no ocean - I knot up
my mind and insides, lines in
empty written in the tides,
       but I can't resign.

All hype and ripening,
ration and disaster
moving forward
     faster

The celibate meeting of mirrors-
soaked wholly in milky fears
in the remnants of inability
inebriation and humility
willingness to leak like sieves
believingly, believingly.

shoreline rescues, RESOUNDS!
The wholesome grounding of sounds,
louder! louder! there then + NOW however
resigned to thicker concrete.

It is She, returned
to pluck from the replaced bouquet.

The smells are something I cannot remember,
but the pattern on the shotglasses made it clear:
what are you doing here, happy in a cup?
Strung up at the wrists,
steaming, pressing,
ready to give up.

***

There have been ten thousand rooms,
Tiny homes and hopes for pearly doom,
Chair legs fashioned with high hopes for impending doom!
Human antics prancing in the hopeful room.

I have stitched my own clothes,
snitched and stitched my sisters to yours,
Bolted our mothers on bathroom floors,
Bound found neighbors in door frames, time and time
before-- glorious--

But how those nights boxed my rib cage in!
Pressured my heart and lungs,
Tensed within my fingers, snapped my wings from my back....

The pattern in the shotglass,
pattern in the bank.
pattern in the handkerchief I yanked
from her hands. Demanding!! From where
do you perceive the feast?

"At least give me a year to fade,"
said the thief.
& in that year I faded myself.

crane wife 4

2011-07-22T15:39:00.001-05:00

and over the wooden loom
his eyes in the tiny room
the illness of my labor!
poured over the wooden loom

each feather, it fell from skin
'till threadbare, and i grew thin
how could someone not notice?
each feather, it fell from skin

and i will spread my wings, spread my wings wide
and i will spread my wings, spread my wings wide

flecks of blood in the weaving
wide window, a fluttering
for i'd been sick for so long!
flecks of blood in the weaving

and i will spread my wings, spread my wings wide
and i will spread my wings, spread my wings wide

(after the Decemberists, crane wife 3: same tune, which you can hear here.)

body / name

2011-07-01T02:25:00.001-05:00

DON'T come in spite of it, and don't claim it's why you're here:

this corpse holds me in and down, but it is not what i am.

call for me in dreams and I will come to you as a ghost.

As a ghost I am kind, but in this solid world

I beg to be unfolded, plumbed, opened like a raw orange

rind cracked, arms gripped tight

gaping fishlike and you'll forget

i'm so unlike what you're told to want.

it was my name you called at the gates,
me you summoned from your doorway, arms filled with need;
it was my name i heard you say, like a trumpet, like no other could say it!
out loud in the day. what if, what if you called my name
not to seek my help but to acknowledge me through; just my name
at night, whispered into your pillow, to make me full & whole, thick
and substantial - gone from a plume of smoke in a dream
to full woman, made of fat and magic, pliable in your hands and suddenly real.

but this requires texture and pressure and courage-

(to press us white) so unlike the sick bouquet i once was

a wilting bowl of purple flowers on the countertop

o, call my name under lamplights; better yet

send for me & hush

i will hear you.

don't come in spite of it; i'm sure

it isn't why you're here; but put out your hands

& learn and i can promise the putty you're given

will light up electric beneath you,

a sea of ecstatic slick stars

treasures & fibers

2011-06-20T19:12:00.000-05:00

how up close things become so much more

and so much less of what they are!

what delight to know that zoom

could make such a difference, and you

under my microscope,

fade and bleat

snap and break. it was my lens

at fault, but treasures & fibers become such oddities

and shells

seem like houses, which they are.

in the dance studio across the street, couples twirl like tornadoes

and my bare feet against the empty shells on the beach

crack the abandoned homes of living things which

is my fault, because I never look close enough

weighted, begging a change

afraid to be alone but with a glow

like i've got a holy plan

i put my trust in; from a distance

all things are lovely so let's

step back

relent

2011-06-19T21:56:00.000-05:00

moving through a corridor in the last hour

before my heart gives up

as if i'll be met in heaven

by sweet reward

o if you give me anything, give me rest

o if you have provisions to, grant my tired heart a moment

dry floods

2011-06-19T21:43:00.000-05:00

stop crying, pale girl

this is a dry spell and you mustn't waste water.

dust travels and lawns gape for rain,

insects crawl the streets in hopes of dew

but there should be no begging- not from you--

we are flooded, flooded with hot pavement

and we are inundated with stale air

so stay silent and satisfied,

strange and supernatural; and rise mysterious and rare.

take all you have, move yourself off the couch,

and save whatever you've got behind your eyes.

if i can remain, remind me;

if i can abstain, consider me beyond it

but there is a quiver in your voice we can't help but hear;

and the red rims around your eyes make us disbelieve your cheer.

so soothe the sting. take whatever it is away.

breathe sharply. hold it near. bite your lower lip and pray,

remember, remember-- someone else understands it better,

the jealous summer hiss of grass, teeth sharpen for the slaughter

but don't you make a sound.

this is a dry spell; don't waste water.

how long until i'm free?

2011-06-15T20:16:00.002-05:00

A sacred power jealous of another? I could not understand it.

2011-06-12T23:48:00.000-05:00

- Ursula K. Leguin, Lavinia

checking tags

2011-06-07T00:49:00.000-05:00

(are you happy now? look what you did)

2011-06-05T19:29:00.000-05:00

i knot up my mind; i close my eyes;

2011-05-15T00:10:00.000-05:00

fall on your knees; o hear the angel voices

2011-05-11T21:14:00.000-05:00

the meaning of lovely

2011-05-11T20:32:00.000-05:00

do you think you can?

2011-05-08T23:22:00.000-05:00

party games

2011-05-06T15:56:00.000-05:00

everything will be alright

2011-05-04T02:41:00.000-05:00

but i am learning; growing

2011-05-04T02:16:00.000-05:00

eyes skyward

2011-05-03T02:25:00.002-05:00

i didn't mean it

2011-05-01T19:41:00.000-05:00

eventually

2011-04-28T11:43:00.002-05:00

toy life

2011-04-27T19:11:00.000-05:00

an alternative

2011-04-27T17:24:00.000-05:00

respondebat illa,

2011-04-27T01:49:00.000-05:00

advice

2011-04-01T17:03:00.000-05:00

something terrible

2011-03-26T09:33:00.002-05:00

osidarap

2011-03-23T00:59:00.000-05:00

in my dream, we swam.
in a jeweled cove your flat feet hit white sand.
you washed up on my magenta bedstep, like a pale shell,
aqua beads clinging to your skin.

if you are my gem,
then i am a song you've heard often before.

i admit,
it was a heavy love song i wept
in my twenty-six steps to the door.

the elegant pathways of time through the heart

2011-02-28T02:10:00.000-05:00

61106

keep this as a record of who we've been.

it happened, so get used to it. the past
is done; done for & done to. red dust settles- that awful state
where everybody seems to be going, as of late-
to escape the drear. so here they left us
mad dreaming every winter's day.

what was it i imagined? that bare-walled place you dressed up with clocks & posters,
without air conditioning - the money spent on wine,
on cheese and crackers and matching chopstick-holders
this pervasive nesting habit
gets expensive. what about? years of a life left on the curb.
who would have thought? the walls freshly bare again, when you moved out.

there were parties here, and when the guests left there was love.
but this was long before
she locked the bedroom door;
you can never get it back. okay
but some things don't really change.
(her awful gums, a face segmented into parts,
the gruesome way shadows fell on her neck--)
(his face like a frog's, his straw-hair curling,
his unbearable slink)

he is gone. we can manage to look back,
she had long wrists like yours.
i would give anything for my long shadow to meet his in the night,
but my shadow is shortened when I am down on all fours.

but keep this as a record of who we've been:
like dresses i don't fit into anymore,
relationships that went downhill,
bodies we shed like skin.
keep this record of who we've been.

hairstyles we've sprayed on and washed out;
dress up sessions in the bedroom, makeup smeared on pillowcases and cheeks;
emotions that don't really stick, but like stray threads, get caught:
things we thought were permanent and things we knew were not.
the look in your eyes, the glow within.
keep this record of who we've been.

like purses i've transferred my things to
and out again, to make way for the new.
my life is a hat i found in the freebie box.
before it was mine it belonged to you.

we had walked over from a few blocks down,
my heels getting caught in sidewalk cracks. my hat
so many times near-stolen by the wind. i was bone girl then, & you
like a secretary with your hair streaked and straightened.
the sameness - everything in untouchable order,
a perfect house arranged to allow guests into your happy heart.
what pushed us together? what pushed us apart?

she is gone now. she is gone now.
in the middle of the night I shiver and you ask what's wrong.
time moves like water, digging fissures in the heart as things move where they belong.

in the grocery store you wonder about the future.
in the bread aisle i choke on words. it simply isn't wise to speak
but the words rot in me, and make me weak. i laugh off my devotion like a joke.

later on i drive you home & thank god i never spoke.

there is symmetry between us, though not in any expected ways:
in April, when trees blossomed around the lagoon,
from our separate bedrooms, we stared out towards the moon
and prayed for release from this parade of days. in the library, i paced the rows of shelves.
in our heavier forms we walked home by ourselves.
Brick road, brick apartment, christmas lights in the spring.
Even at night, if you listen carefully, you could hear Frank Sinatra sing.

Greyhound buses leave each day, and the airport never sleeps.
I say Cleveland is not so bad, but I think this city loses two for every one it keeps.
We're determined to be happy here, even if that joy is blind.
Driving under the overpass
I am full of praise- I rise & soar & hit the gas - I sing a small amen.
Every time my empire falls, I always start again.
This is the strength we've been left with, you and me.
We will find our way like rivers find the sea.

iris will sing to us for a while

2011-02-16T02:44:00.000-05:00

give me your advice,
lord. every time i drive
over that
bridge - a city cramped together,
i question- say yes
or no- follow the heart
or let it go

fragile in my arms, a bone-doily,
a silver shell
hair like paths of a river, cross
and part
cheek like the pale moon
the rhythmic heart

so salvaged
tinkered-with, bolted back together again,
become what it is, for better
or for worse-
the natural state obscured
if not reversed

i will love you eyes-closed
iris will sing to us for a while
so smile in your sleep;
at least try to imagine you are the moon to me.
i will love you eyes-open, but see nothing
i will love you with my hands behind my back
i will write you poems and promise you will never know i wrote to you.

Lo Han Kuo

2011-02-10T19:41:00.000-05:00

I seem to have caught some kind of cold, so I'm drinking Lo Han Kuo.

...huh?

Madeline's parents sent her some in the mail and I quite enjoy the stuff. We call it "Lindsay Lohan Kuo", and my mom and I bought our own box today because of this cough I've got. Apparently it's a Chinese herbal medicine for soothing the lungs. And I am always down for ways to soothe the lungs without a prescription.

My mom and I are drinking some now. She says it tastes like bubblegum. I kinda see what she means. It's quite sweet and fruity.

From chinesemedicineherb.com: Use to treat cough due to lung heat from def. lung yin or weak lung; sticky or bloody phlegm may be present. The def. lung yin may be due to dryness or heat evil. Use as a summer beverage to eliminate summer heat and stop thirst. May be drunk either hot or cold. Appling treatment of a cough with sticky or bloody phlegm and dry, itchy throat associated with bronchitis, pharyngitis or tonsillitis. Use to treat stubborn, chronic cough such as that associated with whooping cough or tuberculosis.

Of course the stuff isn't FDA approved for any treatment, but I'm halfway through my mug of the stuff and I'm feeling quite soothed.

What's in it? It is 95 percent mormordica fruit and 5 percent sugar. This is a mormordica fruit: also called a "Bitter Melon" in English. Bitter Melon is common in a lot of Asian and African herbal medicines.

vs. a movie

2011-02-08T13:51:00.000-05:00

it is the typical, the bland beauties
that get the love in movies
and no one wonders why.

it is not so for such a one as i.
it is not so for you&i.

the bland blonde bank girls of the world
have suave admirers with stubble and a perfect job.
they appear beneath their windows with posterboard and radios
beg for forgiveness & sob.

she always takes him back. as for us, a gentle silence
accumulates like snowfall in the car. i am thoroughly sealed
preserved beneath glass, a grasshopper trapped in a mason jar.
i look out on all the twinkling lights:
how-i-won-der-what-you-are

i write to you from the cabinet of curiosity, i scratch
with pen nib, devoted very much indeed. tuesday morning, 9 am
a secretary's letters, a voice bound by tweed, a perfect lipstick stain
a suit too tight around the waist and hips,
the collar itchy, the silent sound of bitten lips. hair upswept to the point of pain.

legs crossed, arms open. the movies rarely show
this pinnacle of intimacy, the chaste embrace.
there is no deeper place for me to go. the soft, dry warmth that moves towards sleep,
a gentle breathing, the placid face, the room bathed in an aqua glow
you are with me that is all i know

Is 855-483-8930 a scam? Yep. Here's what to do.

2011-01-28T20:43:00.000-05:00

My best friend has been getting annoying texts from this number. Since texing "Stop" to them, they haven't obliged and continued their time-wasting "$200 gas card" texts.

Being a former debt collector, I called the number back to scare a bit of the law into them. When I told them they were harassing us, they promptly hung up. I called back and asked them what company they were from. Another *CLICK*. Immediately I understood that this was one of the more shameless scams.

Having a phone with speakerphone and enjoying a Friday night in, it became apparent that this was to become tonight's great amusement. I called them back and played along. I asked them if I could use the gas card for ice cream. They said, "No, it's just for gas."

"What if I filled my gas tank with ice cream?" I asked earnestly. The befuddled Indian man on the other end paused. "No," he repeated. "Just gasoline."

"How about vanilla? That's my favorite flavor." Click.

We called them back. This time it was my friend's turn.

She played along as well, and quickly got to the part where the man asked for her address. We told him, "1600 Pennsylvania Ave, Washington, DC." He then asked for the credit card number.

"I don't have it with me right now," she said. "I'm in another state. I trainhopped here and I'm not sure where I am."

"That's okay," the scammer reassured. "Can I call you back?"

"Sure," She replied. "But don't call this number. I stole this phone."

The scammer had no reaction. "Okay," he said again, "What number can we call you at?"

"I'll give you my mom's number," she said, and gave him the rejection hotline.

Yaitrata gets shined-up: New photographs!

2011-01-26T17:04:00.001-05:00

(Jonah, Yaitrata Figurine, $16 at mnjohn.etsy.com)

Yaitrata Figurines are vest-pocket sculputres that I made in my studio on the west side. Recently, I teamed up with Madeline Hoyle (of Blicksbags fame) to make a postcard and some other promotional materials to include on my Etsy listings and for galleries.

Madeline is getting pretty good at photographing 3D products, so I was delighted to have her skills handy for this project.

Being able to fill the other two available picture slots on Etsy helps me give my customers a more complete visual story.

Check out available Yaitratas at my Etsy shop

Eggplant Burgers Recipe

2011-01-24T17:30:00.001-05:00

It's been a while since I've posted a recipe, so here we go. Eggplant burgers! Possibly the cheapest burger around, and the healthiest burger too, eggplant burgers take a bit to make but they're quite tasty.

There's all kinds of other burger-alternatives out there but I think this is the simplest one.

You'll need:
An eggplant
Olive Oil
Burger Rubs or seasonings... I just used garlic salt and onion powder
Some buns (I chose Valu-time because I was going for that 'just like McDonalds' cheap'n'awful feel)
The fixings- pickles, vegan mayonnaise (I used Nasoya Nayonaise) ketchup, etc.

How to do it:

1. Cut your eggplant into burger-sized rounds. Rub a generous amount of sea salt onto them. Let them sit for 45 minutes. This is a trick to get the bitter out of the eggplant.
2. Wash the salt off your eggplant pieces. There will probably be a brownish liquid that the eggplant has given off... that's the bitterness we drew out of the eggplant, so pour it down the drain.
3.Pre-cook them in the microwave for 3 minutes... or don't.
4. Fry them up in olive oil, and season them with your favorite burger rubs or seasonings. These suckers soak up a lot of olive oil, so depending on how greasy you like your burgers you might want to watch how much oil you put in.
5. Put them on the bun and.... you know the drill.

Saturia Removal Techniques

2011-01-08T20:18:00.000-05:00

Sometimes you just have to get Saturia a soda.

Do you feel a shudder-worthy sense of dread? Do you constantly say the wrong thing and embarrass yourself? Do you find yourself clumsy and keep knocking things over? It could be that Saturia is in your space. These tips should help you ease her out.

WARNING: Do not yell at Saturia to leave or otherwise coerce her. Do not assert authority over Saturia, and don't suck up. If you must interact with Saturia, do so matter-of-factly; talking to her condescendingly pisses her off. If you feel that Saturia is inhabiting your space, DO NOT tell anyone that she is there until you have left the area.

From your Bedroom:
Burn coil-shaped incense. Clean the room. Make sure to wash the curtains; if the curtains are not washed Saturia will remain in the room no matter how clean it is. Sweep the floor even if it doesn't need sweeping. Turn any chairs on their side for at least five minutes. It is difficult to expel Saturia from the bedroom, but she does not belong there. Washing your sheets helps.

From the Kitchen:
Saturia rarely inhabits the kitchen at all. Cooking, especially baking cakes, expels Saturia from a kitchen.

From the Bathroom:
Saturia cannot be expelled from the bathroom. To attempt to do so is cruel because the bathroom is Saturia's natural home.

From your Car:
Go through the nearest drive through and buy two large-sized sodas. Drink them one at a time; the idea is that you and Saturia can drive around sipping soda together. Saturia will inhabit the passenger's seat; if the passenger's seat is occupied, Saturia will sit between the drivers' and passengers' seat. If Saturia is in the backseat, she is probably not thirsty. Play soothing music so that she may go to sleep.

(she holds her breath.)

2011-01-03T04:00:00.000-05:00

i heard my heart that night, sometime between four and five.

i learned to float and believed I was alive. I drifted in and out of sleep.

i knew nothing but that I was not alone,

everything and not- i bank on that you do not understand.

this is a record i keep.

this is my last hour on dry land.

i am about to jump, are you sure you want to hold my hand?

do not leave me! i cannot float alone.
i have spent a thousand years, red-eyed in bed,
staring at the phone.
i am not talking to him.
i am about to jump, do you know how to swim?

don't let go. perhaps, if you hold on tight,
we might learn to float together, and this could be alright.
they might say it is cruelty
to drag you in to this - what it is, i do not know.
i am about to jump. you might want to let go.

look, i'm done. you might have seen
a glimpse of me while i lived, but now i am a ghost.
the scraps of love you get are leftovers, at most.
sometimes i trick myself that i still know how to feel.
it's indulgent. later on i learn that it's not permanent, or real.

what is it i aspire to? to be unstrung?
to sick, lay dripping, unwrapped,
my lives unsung? my torn packaging around me like a paper dress.
who wants to tie their stars to this?
this is not a life, at least not anymore.
i look behind me.
she holds her breath...

(no title)

2010-12-24T02:58:00.000-05:00

11 instances of the sea and silence (my sweet ghost)

2010-12-13T02:53:00.003-05:00

1. on the concrete barrier

well it’s not an ocean,

vast and encompassing

Lake Erie, my industrial bathtub

is dark and scary enough for me.

or to stand on the concrete decay & feel vast

(this is my home, i am coming home)

downtown in december, I ask the fortune teller

If I will achieve the life of my dreams.

She tells me it won’t be easy

(wandering around ohio city after dark,

Stopping in Puerto Rican restaurants to avoid the cold)

Starlight is your lantern,

You turn your eyes towards the interstate

///elegant

one again, lake erie is not the sea. In my model dress, spinning on the carpet, all angles

The air float of RTA bus (levitation)

I became something holy then

Here is where I meet you but do not say it.

Here is where I realize how silly it must be to love you.

It hurts a little; because knowing that is knowing

that I will never again love anyone.

You are the moon

Youarethemoonyouarethemoon
I am just lonely, I suppose

"I am baking a rum cake, will you come home?"

please don’t go.

I didn’t mean it.

It is not silly to love you.

I am a little broken, bear with me.

I grew up loving ghosts!

I am reminded of Nettie’s face,

Pink and puffy, smeared mascara

Dripping and streaking,

onto her corkscrew hair, green eyes

racked with salt– o she looked awful

O she looked silly, but it doesn’t matter

My sweet girl

8. SHE HOLDS HER BREATH

breathes in air / tiny pearls

iridescent bulb, white teeth

I / me / you / your

The tile wall

The bathroom floor

I am with you now.

Perhaps we will shed these bodies yet.

Your ghost spreads out in mine

Like diffusing smoke in a dark room,

Two breaths blending in the icy air

Now we are free to hate our corpses,

To leave them & laugh at them

( o that was a sickly body I had,

I knew you were the moon all along)

now free from the pressure to love myself
i become all things

10. SEA LULLABYE

sleep now

angel, airport, honeybee

you are a ghost

and I am the sea

silence is my default,

I have not worked out the logic--

silence lends me purity. i do not have to deal.

(how to put my love to work for you

oh how to sell it, cash it in

Like any other gold thing someone gave you)

it rains outside. you stand in the door.

I am standing on your doorstep,

About to speak

But I never say anything

Miso Bread

2010-12-11T21:26:00.001-05:00

Behold the long-awaited Miso Bread. It's modded from a book from the 90s called "Bread Machine Baking for Better Health". Although not all of the recipes in this book are vegan (modding is not always difficult however),there are several good recipes in this book.

Of course this has been modified so it is not the original book recipe.

By the way, this is my boyfriend's bread. I was just the taste tester.

Anyways, this book said that miso could be a replacement for oil or butter to help with the structure of the bread.

Onwards.

Miso Bread

1 3/8 Cups Water
3 cups whole wheat bread flour
3/8 cup garbanzo flour
3 tbsp. miso (he used red)
1 1/3 tablespoons vegan cane sugar (or other sweetener)
3 tsp yeast

Put in bread machine. Set it for whole wheat bread. Let it do its thing. Ta da!

It would appear you could use one tablespoon of miso for roughly one cup of flour to replace in for a bread.

It had a savory, almost sourdough taste and you could taste a hint of the miso in the crust. The structure was spongy and was perfect next to red lentil daal and saag tofu.

next up: miso spread for miso bread.

aurelia

2010-12-09T23:42:00.000-05:00

"I stare and stare and stare at her, trying to imagine what it will be like when she leaves, how she will be different. I stare at her hands, her fingers like flower petals, pointed, stretching out. I wonder if I will forget her. The blackest red stain of her mouth. So much about us matches; she is my evil twin... " - R. Carter, Drown

You feel the knife in your pocket.
It is not your knife; it's your phone.
You run your thumb upon its razor edge.

Why didn't I call you
When I was crying?
You know these things.
(bottles of perfume on the desk,
the way things dangle in the closet.)

I hope
you don't mind
these public letters-

better yet in hand, or
in our hearts (we're
the same height,)
the same two-headed creature;

so that is why
i cannot meet you in my dream
or perhaps not even
on that perfect cloud you own

not in the stairwell,
or moon-eyed in the snow.

it is disturbing
like staring in the mirror.
as if forced to face your own beauty at gunpoint.

woman by the sea
kohl-lined eyes behind the veil of a hat
false fishtail worn shopping

certainly a pair
that name you call me
like i am yours.
if i am, i am indeed
every now and then
fully and occasionally
yours

II.

My shoes are full of sand.
Perhaps this fishtail
Is real after all.

I am not a monster, so I adore you.
Of course I do! Don't be silly.
Is it so hard to carry on your shoulders?
Or to hook on your arm, like a basket of blooms?

We will disappear into the sea,
Nested between waves like egg-shaped hills,
between blue-capped dragon scales.
The underside is all treasure.
This is our glistening secret home.

I am caring, but irresponsible.
Every now and then you bristle.
O, pose me like a doll
(please)

III.

a sweet oasis nested in two years of sadness.
what it was like waking up to eyes the first time.
morning, morning, morning--
tea smells and pale light.

a medallion in my history;
i squeeze it tightly like a coin.

i still cannot bring myself to meet your ghost

2010-12-04T03:08:00.000-05:00

this hesitation is not for show.
there is horror in this- not titillating horror
but pure sick fear. i recoil as if I've met heaven.
what have i done? you are near, but there is a line.
i erase, rub out, redefine.

how alike am i to those girls,
girls who wrote you too-zealous love letters?
you shuddered and tossed them in the trash,
the paper cut-outs, foil stars, mix CDs. nothing compares
to what you had. nothing beats a memory.
cellphone towers now carry her thin breath to you,
packaged like candy from old country.

you are not thirsty ~~like you say you are.~~
sometimes you turn your head and believe you will always be alone.
you have gone through great lengths to secure your solitude.
you keep her under glass in your phone.

i cannot touch your ghost. it is secondary in my vision:
it is a concession, an indulgence;
on my part a shivering and wholehearted consent.
perhaps, the most frightened i've been all my life.

only in concept will you be near me.
only in theory. trust your sorrows to me
(do i trust myself to your sorrows?)
and let them lay me to waste as they've done to you
(i cant even imagine what you've been through)

yes is yes - yes means yes
and i say, yes.
i break backwards singing, yes
please oh yes- (open my arms,
slit me down the belly like a surgeon,
white static becoming our breath,
yes- of course silently, SILENTLY- yes.

so close / so far

2010-12-01T17:46:00.000-05:00

i never thought
i'd live to be this age
i never thought
i'd learn to wake every day

i promise
stop trying to move closer
one wrong step and everything's over
nothing should last forever

just one slow dance, and i'll let go
i'll give you back
just let me know
to that purple night that promises rest
i'll return you to the bed that is your home

the reeds by the river collapse you
nobody deserves to have you
you belong to the night, and not me
i'll bite my tongue, fireflies deserve to be free

the pale whale adoration unadornment hour

2010-11-20T18:36:00.000-05:00

to smell my own perfume only makes me sad.
this familiarity, precious to few,
this line of sight, so fit to breathe
by me, reminiscent of a hold i've never had.

the bathtub fills and i melt in.
i can't stay strong. i can't stay mad.
perhaps my lips are thicker now,
my hips stick out like guppy fins.

my pink thighs half-float;
i would rather not please you. i am plain
and salt-swollen. i am myself again
and there is no choice but to accept.

i am the crown beauty of the bath,
belly-up, freckle-skinned and fat.
every time i close my eyes i glimpse the end.
my puffy face-i wash- let the glitter down the drain.
i make my own standards, i make my own rain.
there is no longer a necessity to pretend.

Still Roastin'! Root Veggies This Time

2010-11-17T19:20:00.000-05:00

After roasting lettuce I have moved on to roasting root veggies.

These guys need a little longer in the oven (45 min) but they came out so tender, delicious, flavorful, herb-encrusted...

Radishes, Potatoes, and Yams, waiting to be sliced and roasted


After roasting. Madly delicious.

The recipe:
Take whatever kinds of root veggies you're into, cut them in to bits, and coat them lightly with olive oil. Then, encrust them with garlic salt and your favorite seasoning rub. Roast at 350 degrees for 35-45 minutes. Yum!

I'm in a treasury today on Etsy...

2010-11-16T13:56:00.001-05:00

Every now and then, someone puts me in a treasury on Etsy. Not only is this a great ego boost, but it's lovely to see my items looking pretty in a set with other handmade things.

This time, my Three Asian Teacups are in a treasure called Shanghai Nights.
Check out the treasury here.

Herb-Crusted Roasted Lettuce (Or, A Lettuce Recipe that Isn't Salad)

2010-11-15T16:11:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, I was searching for something to do with lettuce that isn't salad. After all, the CSA gives us a big head of romaine lettuce fairly often and I've never been a salad person to begin with.

I came across the idea of roasting lettuce, and it came out VERY well! Here's my take on it.

You'll need:
- a head of Romaine Lettuce
- Some Olive Oil
- Garlic Salt
- Greek Rub

(Or, whatever spices and herbs you're into.)

First, wash the lettuce really well. These things grow in the dirt, so be really careful to get the dirt off them. You'll also want to remove the outer leaves. Then, cut the lettuce in half lengthways.

Pat the lettuce dry with a paper towel, and cut the bottoms off the lettuce halves. (You don't have to get it totally dry... some of the water will work to steam the lettuce while it's roasting.) Then, give it a good rubdown with olive oil. Shake a bunch of garlic salt and spice blend over it.... I really herbed it up, I mean, this thing was pretty much herb-crusted.

I roasted it in the oven for about 20 minutes. You might want to keep an eye on it because all ovens and lettuces are made differently. My roasted lettuces came out AMAZINGLY. The spices blended with the olive oil; the outer leaves of the lettuce were crispy and the inner leaves were tender and flavorful.

This would make an incredible appetizer for a romantic dinner since you get two halves out of the lettuce head. And hey... it's not a salad!!! :-D

How to make Kohlrabi (Kohlrabi 101)

2010-11-14T23:36:00.000-05:00

What is that vegetable that looks like a green beet? Well, like a green beet with leaves growing out of it? Well that is a Kohlrabi, and I have now learned how delicious they are. This is how to prepare a Kohlrabi.


Delicious Looking Kohlrabi

Peeled Kohlrabi

First, remove all the leaves. Kohlrabi leaves are edible, too, but the bulb is the tasty part. After removing the leaves, cut off the top and peel the bulb. Then cut it into pieces.

Ready to eat Kohlrabi!

There! You can actually eat the kohlrabi bulb raw, just like this. It's quite tasty... but I cooked mine in a little bit of olive oil.

Kohlrabi Broccoli Stir Fry, AKA breakfast

Plain Kohlrabi Broccoli Stir Fry:

Heat up a little bit of olive oil. Toss in sliced kohlrabi and broccoli. Stir. Add a teaspoon of apple cider vinegar, lots of garlic salt, and a shakey shake of Baingan Bhartaa Seasoning (you know, the seasoning I use for EVERYTHING.)

Yum yum!

first unafraid memory

2010-11-14T05:18:00.000-05:00

What a trap this is!
As sterile as suburbia, and just as watered by tears.
These artificial droplet-shaped trees, and measured curving streets,
A well-meant precision that kills any sincerity.

you say it over and over again

...As if guided by a mantra! I am not a machine.
Did you see me cry when I drove away?
Here, the lawns are rationed like sugar. This must be
Where Sylvia lived; brand name ovens
And tile drives of black and grey.
I turn my head, bite my words, and pretend
as if I have nothing more to say.

No! No, I do not want to be comfortable!
I would rather hide my face!
Unhand me, or I cannot ascend.
I might as well veil my hair. I do not want to be a joy.
Oh, why would you say such a thing?! What killed my pride?
How dare I take it to heart? It isn't out of fear, either.
Silly.
I am not afraid at all;
All the fear has been pressed from me.

It is only grace that rescued this, and I wanted you to know it;
Not my grace! Something sacred to me.
O, fall on your knees
in the tile bathroom, tears pin down
in the car-- in the cold air
a moment of flight- a mad prayer of silver droplets
everywhere on a night of no snow.

O, fall on your knees
I am unafraid, unafraid, unafraid.
this is candy-apple grace,
my sweet memory of emancipation

my queen

2010-11-10T04:11:00.000-05:00

shaving of a moon. this tiny light
is nothing in the vast evening sea.
like any other highway streetlamp it is out of reach.
as if it were the only thing out of reach to me.
(sometimes you do not feel out of reach to me.)

my children paw my sleeves,
question-mouthed, but i shake them off like snow.
i know - protect my threatened solitude.
protect my fragile halo.

i cannot package up all the things i've seen.
i am a useless poet and you are my queen.

here goes the last of my silence;
here goes the last of my interstate wandering.
here goes every fantasy of writing this down.
the seduction of being understood.
this story rots, and refuses to be laid to rest for good.

i sharpen my teeth; become slick and vast and lean.
i am the night and you are my queen.

damn a family. i cannot handle the noise.
it is only alright if i overturn the furniture myself.
do not speak to me. he is ugly and i can let him go.
(my children paw my sleeves & i shake them off like snow)

i do not have to interact. you remain unseen.
i am a hopeless loner and you are my queen.

Cleveland APL's Fur Ball 2010

2010-11-07T14:58:00.000-05:00

Through donations I collect from selling for charity artwork, I purchased tickets to the APL's Fur Ball this year. The event is entirely sponsored, so every penny of my ticket proceeds went to helping injured shelter animals.

Apart from that, I donated a beautiful handmade Cat Jar for the silent auction! Imagine my delight when I noticed a bidding war on it... my cat jar raised an extra $40 for the Second Chance Fund.

I also had a lot of fun listening to the jazz trio, staring at the chandeliers in the ballroom, and looking at the decor of the nicest hotel in Cleveland. I wore a brown and blue dress with black boots and a black beret, with little blue crystal stud earrings. My boyfriend doesn't dress up much so he wore a sweater vest. Good enough, right? He looked dashing.

I saw ladies there with huge diamond rings and designer handbags and dresses, with elaborate hairstyles and perfect makeup. The silent action prizes were all lavish, too- kitty and puppy goodie bags, 4 tickets to a live taping of the Daily Show, lunch with local celebrities...there were a few packages auctioned off live, which included a catered party for 25 on the observation deck of the Terminal Tower, and a professionally-taken cover photo of the winner's pet for the next year's calendar.

Of course I didn't take any of these goodies home because the bidding went into the THOUSANDS of dollars.

I wanted to take more pictures but I felt silly pulling my camera out because no one else was and I didn't want to give away the fact that I'm poor. :) I did manage to take a pic of my fruit plate and my rum-and-coke.

Now, anyone who knows me understands that I drive a beater car, eat mostly rice and beans, and I don't make a lot of money.

So why in my right mind would I set such a huge portion of work to be sold for charity?

Well, first off, it's a cause I believe in. In a perfect world, no one would abuse animals but there are still people out there doing that so the APL needs my support.

Another reason is that I think it's good business sense. It might be the status quo these days for businesses to not have values or ethics, but I would rather not abide by that.

And third... it's a luxury I can enjoy in good conscience! Everyone needs to dress up and rub elbows with the rich and kinda-famous sometimes. :) Anyways, it was AMAZING! My boyfriend and I had a great time.

I am obsessed with this chickpea salad recipe (and it's vegan!)

2010-10-05T03:59:00.000-05:00

So, I kind of made up this recipe for chickpea salad. It takes literally 3 minutes to make, it costs less than 50 cents per serving, and it's super nutritious and frugal and filling. I've been eating it almost every day.

My brother, Mr. Picky Eater, even likes it. (!!!!!!)

You need:
1 can of chick peas (a.k.a. garbanzo beans)
approx. 1 tsp. of garlic salt
approx 1 tsp (more, if you like things spicier... I think I'm up to a tablespoon 'cause i like a kick) of Mahashian Di Hatti Baingan Bhartaa Masala
Balsamic Vinegar, to taste... approx. 1/8 of a cup

(Baingan Bhartaa Marsala is an Indian spice blend used for making the traditional eggplant dish. I picked some up at the local Indian market and lately I've been putting it on almost everything. I think the only thing I haven't made with it yet is Baingan Bhartaa itself! If you don't have an Indian market close by, you can click on the link to grab it from Amazon. I linked to my fave kind of garlic salt too, but chances are you can find that at your regular supermarket.)

The directions:
1. Open the can of chickpeas and rinse them. Rinse them well. I'm talking stick 'em in a strainer and run them under water for at least 30 seconds. Simply draining the juice won't do it: you'll be stuck with this weird aftertaste. This goes for all canned chickpea recipes.

If you're superfrugal, you can get dried chickpeas and soak them overnight. They have a coarser texture, though... more nutty. If you're into that.

2. Dump the chickpeas in a bowl. Toss all other ingredients in. Stir once or twice.

3. Nom nom nom! Enjoy your delicious snack. Makes 2 servings.

Squash Fest!!!! (Turban Squash Recipe & Acorn Squash Recipe)

2010-10-03T18:11:00.000-05:00

That is, Squash Fest with a ton of exclamation points!!!! Yes!!! Three cheers for a delicious vegan Turban Squash and Acorn Squash!

Both squash were cut in half and gutted (we roasted the seeds with a little olive oil and mesquite rub.) Then we made a rice filling to go inside the Turban Squash.

Turban Squash Filling Recipe: boil together any of the following:

rice
some olives
chopped onion
chopped garlic
your favorite seasonings
other chopped veggies
black beans

When the rice mixture is done, spoon it inside the turban squash halves and bake it at 350 degrees.

As for the Acorn squash, I filled it up with jaggery, olive oil, and sugar. You can use maple syrup, sucanat, or brown sugar if you choose. Just stuff it with something sweet and melty. Bake it at 350 degrees as well. until the squash is soft and the sugar's melted. While it bakes, why don't you go do something productive, like make some awesome Squash Day Decorations like these?

mm. squash.

Lots of New Art: Yaitrata Figurines and a Donation Painting

2010-10-01T01:31:00.002-05:00

Meet Charles the Rooster!

He is a donation watercolor painting for walk for farm animals. I finished him up today; tomorrow I'll get up off my duff and buy a mailer envelope, print out the donation form, and send him on his way, where he will be a raffle prize.

Ben mistook him for a turkey, but Mina says he's for sure a rooster.

Well, I haven't been updating the old 'blog like I should, but I have an excuse: lots of artwork is bein' made and lots of Etsy items are being listed, in anticipation for the holiday season.

Squash Fest has been celebrated as well, and there are pictures and yummy vegan squash recipes... but I will dedicate a post to that once I have some time to sit down and breathe! Whoo.

Also brand new are my Yaitrata Figurines. These figurines are being offered as an affordable way to collect ceramic sculpture. They have quite a unique personality and I am enjoying doing brushwork every day again!
They start at $16. Each one is totally unique and has its own name, story, and personality. They range in color and in size, from about 2 inches tall to 4 inches tall. Each one is hand painted by me, and fired to 2112 degrees F.

I am also in the process of finishing up reading Carolina Clay: The Life and Legend of the Slave Potter Dave by Leonard Todd. I've got to say, this book is a little difficult to read, emotionally. Leonard Todd is the descendant of the one-time 'owner' of the man known only as Dave the Potter. Dave made huge pots for storing meat and grain in back in the Antebellum South. A rare skill for an enslaved person, he also knew how to write (which was illegal under South Carolina law- educating slaves was seen to give them too much power). Dave wrote inscriptions into his pots- sometimes comical, sometimes poetic and inspired.

Now, those who know me personally understand why this strikes an emotional chord for me. When I was in art school, I used text on my ceramics as a way of venting a lot of feelings. It was a way to say things without having said them; and in a permanent way, too. After all, clay lasts pretty much forever. Will my inscriptions be buried and wondered at, years after my death, just as Dave's were? Who knows.

Dave resonates with me. We know so little about him (the author of this book spent quite a bit of time diving into the small-town world chasing after any records of Dave's existence) but we do know that he was born into slavery, that he had become very drunk on more than one occasion (probably in response to the hard, hard life he was forced into), and that he was a very deeply religious man.

I saw a leopard, & a lions face =
then i felt, the need of Grace =

- Dave the Potter; Inscription from a storage jar, 1860

Paper is cheap, folks. Clay lasts forever.

Ooo... fun widget...

2010-09-28T01:36:00.002-05:00

All my Etsy friends, check this out:

Craftcult is my new thing! From there I can stalk my etsy site to see if anyone added my items to their favorites! Yaaaaaaaay!

I don't think I'll replace my canonical Etsy widget with the Craftcult widget, even though it is flashier. The old one matches my site's decor a lot better, and it's simpler. But still! Too much fun!

watermelon song

2010-09-26T01:42:00.000-05:00

family connectivity of species, connection on the line
i grab from the wall and call towards you,
in andandand from / above / behind--

&&&&&they said the watermelons were boys;
the more compact round girls;
i do not care to know.
i see only floors littered with toys, a vast implosion of my guarded world.
they say that things grow to fill their spaces (----!!)
So. It's important to me, too. Take me where you want me to go.

i don't sleek out- i just raise my back.
i don't sleek out- i curl up into a ball.
i am nothing streamlined.
no sir, not at all

i can still lay a black dress upon my bed.
i can still run down stairs, and spin in church squares,
i can still film an age in my head.

but at the end of the day, it wasn't what we did
it was what they said--- 222222over-pulled bywhattheysaid.

He SAID that?!

2010-09-24T02:35:00.000-05:00

Oh, Facebook. Though I love the social-networking service and the opportunities it brings, I've voiced my concern for its privacy settings before.

While reading the current issue of the New Yorker magazine, I enjoyed an article about the man behind the site, Mark Zuckerberg. The article, by Jose Antonio Vargas, sets a sort of "Facebook vs. Google" tone, and says that "Facebook's ultimate goal is to create, and dominate, a different kind of internet."

The article also quotes some leaked IMs from Facebook's earliest days. This made me nervous:

" Zuck: yea, so if you ever need info about anyone at Harvard
Zuck: just ask
Zuck: i have over 4000 emails, pictures, addresses, sns
Friend: what!? how'd you manage that one?
Zuck: people just submitted it
Zuck: i don't know why
Zuck: they "trust me"
Zuck: dumb f*cks " (pg 58)

Whooooooooooaa.

Once again, if you've never checked on your facebook privacy settings, you might be surprised who can see your personal information. I also encourage you to buy the issue of the New Yorker that contains this article... it's really a fascinating read.

How to Cook Onigiri Japanese Rice Balls (Easy Vegan Recipe)

2010-09-20T15:40:00.000-05:00

Last night in that tiny window of time between going to the Cleveland Really Really Free Market (where I unloaded a lot of pottery seconds and gave out a bunch of fliers for the Hildebrandt Building Studio Pottery Sale) and firing a bisque kiln all night, Jeff and I had a short picnic in my backyard with vegan lattes and Onigiri. These are surprisingly easy to make.

You'll need:

Japanese Short Grain Rice (it has to be short grain, otherwise it won't be sticky enough.)
Dried Seaweed Sheets, or Nori
Soy Sauce (we used the kind of soy sauce without sodium benzoate)

Optional:

Things to stuff in your onigiri (pickled plums, carrots or greens, tofu)
A cool soy sauce dish from your favorite pottery store :)
Saran Wrap

How to do it:

Step One: Cook the short grain rice in a rice cooker or just a plain ol' pot with a lid. You'll need 1 and 1/4 cups of water for every 1 cup of dry rice.

Step Two: Let the rice cool for at least 10 minutes after most of the water has been absorbed. Then, spread a piece of saran wrap over your hand and put approximately 1/3 cup of cooked rice on top. Then, using the saran wrap as a layer between your hand and the rice, pack it into as tight of a ball as you can.

Unwrap it and put it on the plate. Do this until the rest of the rice is used up.

Step 3: Cut a sheet of seaweed into strips. Wrap each strip around the middle of your onigiri, like a belt. You can get more creative about this; it's really a decorative thing. You can cut it into shapes and put it on top. It's whatever you think looks good.

Step 4: Arrange them on a tray, and put your soy sauce dish in the center. Ta da! Lunch!

Promotional Postcard Project

2010-09-16T16:14:00.000-05:00

Hey Cleveland Artists!

So, here's the idea for the promotional postcard trade project:

We each design a 4"x 6" postcard, and have copies of it printed. On the back, we include our name, the name of the art, and our website. We trade these postcards so that instead of tons of the same post card, we can put together variety packs and sell them. Since everyone has a different slice of the market they're selling to, everyone gets to promote everyone and make a little money while we do it.

We'd agree on a standard retail price for a pack of cards- I'm thinking $16 for the pack of 10, or if you want to split it up into two packs of 5 to sell at $9 - and I'll find some clear window stationary boxes and buy them wholesale, and redistribute them to participants at cost.

You can get as many or as few cards printed as you'd like, but if you trade away 10 cards per person, you get back 10 cards per person. So I think the minimum should be 100 so everyone can get 10 packs. Jakprints is having a $90 for 500 double sided postcards special, but you can get 100 for $60. So here's what you'd need to participate:

- A drawing, illustration, painting, comic, etc -- must be appropriate for all audiences... y'know... no pr0n...
- $60 to have 100 of your cards printed, or $90 if you're going with 500
- Some postage to mail (or deliver, if you choose) your postcards to the other participants

And here's what you'd get out of it:

- A minimum of $160 worth of postcards to sell (more if you printed and traded more cards) - put them in galleries where your work is shown, stick 'em on your Etsy, put them on your website, donate them to charity auctions, sell 'em door to door Girl Scout Cookie style... it's up to you!

- Advertising on your friends' websites, at galleries, craft fairs and charity auctions... imagine the number of people who will be interacting with your art! Not just the buyer, but whoever the buyer writes these postcards to.

If we have more than 10 participants, that's fine... we can make different variety packs with different artists represented in them.

Not a bad way to get your name out there! I want to have this up and running before Christmas pottery selling season starts so that I can sell these packs at holiday shows, so you would have to have your cards printed by October 2 (not that difficult considering that jakprints has a 2 day turnaround, and most of you already have pictures from your portfolio ready to go) and the last day to mail your cards out to the other participants would be the 15th. We'd get our cards by Halloween and be ready to roll by the start of November.

Want to participate? Leave me a comment, facebook me, or email mjohn (at...) student.cia.edu

Strength in Numbers! :)

The Most Useful Ceramics Books - Pottery Book Reviews

2010-09-16T01:01:00.000-05:00

Most of us potters are addicted to ceramics books.

My all time favorite ceramics book is "Practical Solutions for Potters" by Gill Bliss. I got this in 2004 and I can safely say that if it weren't for this book, I wouldn't be a potter now. It is a wealth of information on everything from centering on the wheel to refining clay from your backyard, and I remember experimenting in high school with all the different surface treatment techniques in it. Advanced potters won't find it all that helpful, but for a starter book, it's probably my favorite. If you're thinking of taking a pottery class, get this book to go with it. It's like a booster seat.

For a more advanced ceramicist, one that seems to be on every wish list is Mastering Cone 6 Glazes by John Hesselberth and Ron Roy. I spent some hard time with this book in college- during my 3rd year especially. (Hey, remember back when before I knew that red iron oxide worked as a flux at cone 6? And I made that glaze that ran all over everything? Good times.) This book is intense, and a wealth of information. It is a reference book more than a recipe book, and covers a lot on material safety, leaching, and glaze fit. I checked this out from the library during school, but I don't own it now due to its price... though when I expand my glaze lab, I have a feeling this book may end up paying for itself.

Finally, for inspiration, at CIA we always had the 500... series around, from Lark Books. 500 Plates and Chargers , Cups, Vases... Pitchers, Sculptures... they make it all.

At worst, they're pretty picture books, and I think they tend to edge towards unconventional. I liked to paw through them when I got potter's block. Now I have Google images for that, but still... these books are like a nicely curated art show, and have plenty of big names in them.

I'm sure there are plenty more Ceramic books I could review, but I'll probably do that later... these are the first ones that come to mind.

Say No To Corporate, Christmas 2010!

2010-09-14T18:09:00.000-05:00

It's no secret that big corporations rely on the holiday season to boost their profits. After all, it's expected that you buy buy buy during the Christmas / Hannukah / Kwanzaa / Solstice season and it's not like you're not going to get gifts, right? Christmas shopping is a fact of life, but it doesn't have to be a tool for supporting Corporate America.

I've made the handmade pledge for this holiday season: not a single gift I'm giving to my friends and family is coming from Walmart, Target, Best Buy, or any other large company. Everything will be handmade by a real human being. The profits will go to pay someone's bills, usually a sole entrepreneur; not to the bloated paperwork and CEO salaries of a corporation while the real handworkers are paid pennies per hour. I've already bought most of my holiday gifts from Etsy sellers and I am very pleased with both the prices and quality!

1. Donate to Charity in someone's name.

I know it's not a flat-screen TV, but I know that I for one would love to get a certificate this Christmas knowing that someone has donated to the Cleveland APL, ACLU, or another cause I believe in, in lieu of a gift for me. I really don't have room for more STUFF anyway!

2. Go Handmade.

Etsy is a great starting place, but there are also TONS of local craft fairs you can check out. It's a fun outing if you've got the time. If you haven't got the time, shop from the comfort of your home, on the Internet!

3. Heck, make it yourself!

The real spirit of holiday giving comes from thoughtfulness. The thing is not as important as the reminder that you were thinking of someone this holiday season. Get out the paints and the rubber stamps, take a pottery class, go to a metalworking workshop, or just grab a kit from the craft store! You'll have fun with your friends making ornaments from pre-cut wooden shapes or beaded necklaces to give as gifts. Make fudge or cookies (preferably out of an Isa Chandra Moskowitz book)... Or, give someone a "gift certificate" for a free back rub, car wash, computer repair... whatever it is you do! Odds are, it'll lead to spending more time with someone special in your social circle.

And that's worth a lot more than a flat screen TV. Don't listen to what the big corporations tell you. The holidays are not about standing in line at stores. They're about spending time with the people you love- friends, significant others and family.

How to SEO (Search Engine Optimize) an Etsy to get more hits

2010-09-12T20:30:00.000-05:00

I do most of my selling through Etsy, so it's important that people are able to find me. Tonight I put a fair amount of effort into optimizing my Etsy site to attract people who are looking for what I'm selling. Then we can do business and make each other happy! *grin!*

Since blogging is the business of sharing the love, I thought I'd let you all know how to do it, too. My source of info is my brother. He does this kind of thing for a living. So if it doesn't work, I'll blame him. Just kidding... SEOing isn't rocket science.

Step one: What do you sell that's unique enough to search for?

I sell pottery, but optimizing for the term "pottery" is pretty useless. My top sellers are dip dishes, hand-pinched feminine goddess amulets (think venus of willendorf ) and little Asian tea cups. If someone's doing a google search, they're searching for something specific like that.

For example, if you do drawings of monkeys, don't just put "Drawings"... you might want to put in "Drawings of Monkeys, Primates, and Apes" or something like that.

Step Two: Position your keywords.

Put your keywords where they matter: The "Shop Title" and the first couple sentences of "Shop Announcement". The search engine puts more weight on these two things than anything else. The search engine also sees your categories and item description, but not as much.

To edit these, go to Your Etsy, then click on Shop Appearance, then type in the keywords you decided upon in Step One.

Don't, don't, don't put in keywords that have nothing to do with what you're actually selling. This is the internet version of an arsehole move, like leaving your laundry in the public machines overnight or not tipping the waitress. Not only is it bad karma, but people won't buy it.

Ta da! You did it!

Here's a note on my general advertising philosophy:

If people want it, they want it. If they don't, they don't. Advertising is about reaching people who would already buy your product (or support your cause, or read your blog, or hire you, or whatever it is you're advertising).

It is not about making people who wouldn't otherwise want your product suddenly decide they have to have it. At best, that's silly and it's a waste of time and money. At worst, it's downright dishonest.

I also consider doing charity work a great way to advertise. Making pieces for charity raffles and auctions for causes you believe in is a great way to let people know you're there... and of course, you're helping change the world in a way you believe in!

Making Vegan Bubble Tea

2010-09-11T01:00:00.001-05:00

Since me and my designer friend Madeline (if you haven't checked out blicksbags yet, you's crazy) are working on side project centered around bubble tea, it's definitely been my mind lately. The chewy bubbles. The fat straws. The sweet, creamy beverage. Yummmm.

Making some delicious bubble tea the vegan way is super easy. You'll probably need a trip to the Asian Grocery, or, if you don't have one nearby, you can order what you need from the internet.

You'll need:

Some Sweet Tea (I made a pitcher ahead of time and put it away in the fridge. I use red rose brand.)
An aseptic pack of soy milk or almond milk
Tapioca Pearls
Special Bubble Tea Straws that are thick enough to suck up bubbles! :)
A couple hours

Optional: flavoring syrup or juice (I used a can of peach juice I found at the Asian market...)

Step One: Boil 4 cups of water at high heat. Add 1/2 cup of pearls and turn the heat down to low. Let it simmer for about 2 hours, then turn the heat off and let it cool on its own.

Step Two: Run the cooled down pearls under some water in a strainer.

Step Three: Combine the soymilk with the chilled sweet tea in a pitcher; if desired add the flavoring syrup. My ratio was one part soymilk to one part tea. The syrup is to taste, of course.

Step Four: Spoon some bubbles into the bottom of a glass. Pour the tea mixture over it. Pop in a big straw and enjoy!

In the Studio

2010-09-09T15:06:00.001-05:00

A lot of great things are going down in the studio right now! First of all, you can get a limited edition original animal painting for $20, and the proceeds go to the APL's second chance fund to provide medical care for injured animals that come to the shelter!

Check it out here - and be sure to wander though the rest of the For Charity section to see if there's anything else you might like.

I'm trying to raise enough money to make it to the 2010 Fur Ball this year, to represent MeganJohn.net.

I also want to donate a piece of art to their auction. I've working on a lot of things in the studio so I'm not sure what exactly it is I'm going to donate yet.

Painting Figurines in the Studio!

The most exciting thing I'm working on right now are Figurines. They're tiny and very time consuming, but I love making them because each one has a personality and a story.

Here they are not fired at all yet... the colors brighten up in the heat and under the glaze. They're about the height of my thumb and are painted with a brush that has only a few hairs.

Anyways, I just put a few new plates up on meganjohn.net so check those out too... It's going to be a busy week. Me and the awesome Madeline of Blicksbags are also working on a branding / design project involving bubble tea, so I have a bubble tea tutorial to post soon too. Stay tuned!

Defining Myself is Super Hard

2010-09-08T00:53:00.000-05:00

My friend Calla (Go read her blog post here and be sure to check out the rest of her blog) recently has been posting enlightening insights into the beliefs, values, and concepts that define her as an individual. While I'm sure several pages of words barely scrape the surface for anyone, it's fascinating and educational to learn why someone is passionate about.

Well, I'm inspired. Who am I? What do I stand for? What are the issues that define me within my daily thoughts and actions?

Well, I'm an artist and a bit of a DIY-er.

Not just an artist, really, a ceramic potter, a craftsperson. I started at the age of ten because I was enamored with the idea of making things I could use myself. As I grew up and got pushed into picking a career, I chose to pursue pottery seriously because I wanted to be actually adding useful, thoughtfully made goods to the world, instead of buying them and selling them at a higher price.

Pottery is almost a no-guilt occupation for me. I've had a lot of jobs, many of which I've taken because of the need for income (read: health insurance). I worked in collections where the goal was to convince debtors to make financial decisions that may not be right for them in the long run. I telemarketed for proprietary (for-profit) schools. I worked as a technical recruiter at a firm which was full of blatant racists and cried every day on my lunch break. And many more.

Each of these jobs appeared proper and honest at first, but several weeks into them I learned behind-the-scenes practices which reeked of nothing but greed.

There are no awful behind-the-scenes practices in ceramics. I have a piece of clay, and I make it into something useful and beautiful. Then I sell it to someone who wants to pay for it. It's simple and happy. No trickery, no deception, no racism, no bad karma. Just hard, honest work.

I have an intuitive perception of some ideas about the universe but no real knowledge; however, I have some faith in certain truths.

My beliefs about the universe around me and how I should interact with it are usually kept very close to me. I won't talk about them often; both for fear that other people won't find them valid as well as the fact that others' validation of them is not necessary.

I don't believe that everyone should believe what I believe. I will not try to change people's minds but I consider myself doing well if I provide people with the resources to make what I consider a "right" decision.

I also don't really know anything. Our environment (both mental and physical) is complex and ever-changing. I change too, and I think it is important to adjust my thinking based on new information I take in. I am eyes-open and eyes-ready. I am an adaptable human being, built not only for survival but to have a rich symbolic life.

This is not to say that I view the entire world scientifically and based only on logic. What to take on faith and what to take on proof is a personal decision for each person.

My Often Misunderstood Queerness

   Easily put, one could say I'm bisexual, but that's too simple. And yikes, there are a lot of misconceptions about bisexual people! We aren't even liked in the gay community! (most lesbians won't date a bi girl because she'll "leave her for a man" or she's "just going through a phase" or some other bull like that.)

   I have an alter-ego named Diette Coco. She is a drag queen. That makes her a female impersonating a male impersonating a female. I love contrived notions of femininity- high heels, false lashes, makeup, sequins, hats and dresses. Without these things, in my everyday life, I am something non-gender-specific, simply human, a mess of thoughts and habits. Were I to wake up tomorrow physically a man, everything in my life would be the same as it is now.

   Anyway, for me queerness is not so much about physical sexuality itself. I live mostly in the mental realm and I view sexuality as a complex form of expression and communication. This is not to say I ignore the physical world; simply that it plays second fiddle to the mental world.

    Oh, and I am in a relationship with a man, one who is supportive and accepting of my rather complicated identity. A rare find indeed.

What else could I write about myself? I like my cat and Red Rose tea; my favorite color is blue. When I'm mad, driving is the only thing that makes me feel calm. All that mundane stuff... but I think I summed up most of my identity one way or another.

whenever you look out, every now & then

2010-09-04T00:25:00.001-05:00

admit this- one thing
(you must!). i served my rare time
and watched it go; i gave you
back, solidly, to red dust.

i will not let you stand
in an airplane chair - believe
before you land, i know
what you thought when i said
"perhaps you ought to go"
what's so hard to understand-
"perhaps i will be glad to have you go"--

i will not let you stand
from your airplane chair- you bolt frozen
right there, drop that you're carrying-
i imagine- you admit- life is a network circle, a ring
& though i never spelled your soup, this thing
binds lesser men,& years become nothing.
I do not believe you do not wonder, every now and then.

time doesn't scare me, nor does the thought
of your ---- - my ----- -, a white promise, new life
i don't care. i am always right in what i do-
i follow this scarlet thread everywhere. i drag it by my side
like a wallet, or the moon, and like that orbit
it will not crash us soon, but this gravity
affects lesser measures, the tides, my extraneous endeavors
fall air versus perfect weather,
admit it! (she cries, hiding her hair and widening her eyes)
..........
at least, every now and then....

And today, I drew a rabbit.

2010-09-01T22:04:00.001-05:00

Another Take on an Image

2010-08-31T23:31:00.000-05:00

So, I made this postcard in photoshop... playing around with an old image, some layers, and primary colors.

I love cyan.

Facebook Default Privacy Settings Aren't Pretty

2010-08-30T23:23:00.001-05:00

Are you a facebook user? Have you edited your privacy settings... ever? You might be surprised at what the defaults look like.

This is not a new problem, and many people know about it. However, Facebook has launced "Places", allowing your friends to tag you as being in a certain location.

If it sounds like fun, go use it. If it bothers you, disable it. Just.... be educated about where facebook spreads your info. The defaults aren't always pretty.

More info at this article and this article. The second one shows you how to fix your privacy settings.

This is no reason to quit facebook or to call them particularly evil; the settings can be easily fixed, IF you're aware of the problem. Most people just assume that what they do on facebook is only seen by their friends, which couldn't be farther from the truth. Get aware, get your friends aware, and remember that if you don't want the world seeing it, you probably shouldn't be putting it on facebook anyway. Just sayin'.

Now excuse me while I take down those pictures of me dancing the hula naked on a boat full of illegal immigrants, ladies-of-the-night and underage drinkers.

....just kidding.

Celebrating 829, or, How to Make a Gorgeous Vegan Cake in the Crockpot

2010-08-30T15:31:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was 829, the lovely August festival holiday celebrating the birthday of the eternally youthful Queen Atie. I drew a picture of her for you all to enjoy, too.

I was determined to make a cake, or cupcakes, or something frosted and decorated in green, white, and aqua. I even went to Giant Eagle and bought cakemaking supplies, in order to make the golden vanilla cupcakes recipe provided in Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World.

One big problem: no oven access. Brother Benbert turned off the gas line to the entire kitchen after thinking he smelled gas one day. I was left with no other options: I had to make a cake SOMEHOW. I busted out the crock pot. I didn't know if it would work. I guessed. I documented the process. It worked. Now you can do it too, to celebrate the static birthday of your own eternally youthful Queens.

MAKING THE VEGAN 829 CAKE IN THE CROCKPOT

you will need:
the golden vanilla cupcakes recipe from Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World
all associated ingredients from the recipe
a little extra vegetable shortening to grease the crockpot
2-3 hours on your hands

Step One: Lightly grease and preheat the Crock Pot. I turned mine to high while I was mixing the batter up. I don't have a fancy crock pot; I've been using the same Cheap Model Proctor Silex Crock Pot for more than 4 years now and it has never let me down.

Step Two: Curdle the soymilk and mix up the batter according to the recipe. It's not a difficult recipe; this part took me about ten minutes. I wanted the cake to be more almondy so I added more almond extract. This doesn't really affect the ability of this cake to work in the crock pot, though.

Step Three: Pour the Batter into the Greased, Preheated Crock Pot. Then put the lid on, and cook on high. Crock pots heat up kind of slowly, but I found it was ready to go by the time I put the batter in.

There is the question of the water that condenses in the lid dripping down onto the top of the cake later on in the baking process. I haven't solved this issue but I didn't find it to be a big problem, either: after I frosted the cake it appeared and tasted perfectly normal.

Step Four: Go Do Something Else. I cleaned the house, played with my cat, took a walk, and gave myself a (really amateurish) pedicure. Pink, because I'm not quite ready for red yet. Like it? Anyways, cooking the cake takes about 2-3 hours, depending on the crock pot. Crock pots are all so different, so I suggest coming back and checking the cake every 30 minutes or so, getting down to every 15 minutes as cooking time runs out.

Step Five: Let the Cake Cool (you'd better not be impatient about this step!!!!) and pop it out of the crock pot. Running a knife along the edges to loosen it up helps. Since the crock pot is ceramic, you don't have to worry about scratching teflon. Yay!

I cut my cake in half because pieces of it were being sent to multiple locations. You don't have to do this.

Step Six: Cool, Frost, and Serve. Once again, it's important to let the cake cool completely before hitting it with frosting. Or else you'll have a puddle of frosting on the plate and a naked cake!

Ta Daaaaaaaaa! Happy 829 (yesterday)!

Why I'm Boycotting Target Right Now

2010-08-26T17:43:00.001-05:00

It's not just Target. It's Best Buy, too. What have these corporations done wrong that's so out of the ordinary for large companies we already expect to be evil?

Target gave $150,000 to the campaign of Tom Emmer for Minnesota Governor, a candidate who has a very strong anti-gay stance. Best Buy gave $100,000.

Quoted from gayrights.change.org:

"Tom Emmer: against gay marriage, against gays and lesbians parenting children, and friends with a Christian ministry that has advocated violent and discriminatory actions against the LGBT community. He's also Target's candidate of choice for Governor.

Target has continued to deflect on the $150,000 donation supporting Emmer, issuing a statement this week saying that as part of a political action committee (PAC) known as Minnesota Forward, they're supporting Emmer because they think he's the pro-business candidate. Target went on to say that their "commitment to the GLBT community is unwavering."

Please read the whole article here and consider sending a message to Target that actions speak louder than words.

For more about why the Target boycott is so crucial right now, please read this article.

And if anyone has any information about whether Target is feeling this mistake in their pocketbook, please let me know!

i know my future / all of it

2010-08-26T03:10:00.001-05:00

i am sure

2010-08-24T03:09:00.002-05:00

I am sure you will storm into the church,

so I will go blindly. I see the doors painted white, your suit

In mind's eye- the kinds of things they write on headstones. May, June, July.

Forty, fifty, sixty- until my sentence

is complete. Those big white doors never open,

You never look for me. Leaves fall from trees like gold coin.

As for me, I had nothing white

nothing blue, nothing borrowed, nor physically true. Fall is a relief:

the summer nuptial season is, like a modern marriage, brief.

On a closet floor I tied my eyes with red

And looked upon those double doors, clothes dangling on hangers instead

Of draperies and vows, trinkets to have and hold. I resolve to grow old.

Like autumn I shed something. You were sleeping as I swept

The pieces off the floor. Standing in this doorway I am held by both hands.

You do not intercept.

Some Different Kinds of Less Processed Sugars, Their Benefits, Ethics, and Downfalls

2010-08-22T23:24:00.000-05:00

My friend Calla recently asked me about the jaggery I use to make rice milk and rice chai drinks at home. She wanted to know if it's easier for the body to process, and if it has an ethical growing/harvesting process. I've been doing a little research about it, and while I haven't found all the answers, I've learned a lot more about sugar and its cousins!

White sugar isn't really truly vegan because it's processed over bone char. (I hear some drinking water is processed this way as well, though it's being phased out.) Jaggery usually comes from the sugar cane plant,but it is simply evaporated into a lump, retaining all its minerals (and no bone char involved!).

But what about the people doing it? I know my lump of jaggery comes from India, but who makes it? Jeff says that Jaggery-making is a cottage industry most of the time. He also says that Jaggery and Sucanat are basically the same (evaporated sugar cane juice), and that organic, fair trade sucanat is readily available. I found it online in bulk here. Why don't they sell it in single packets? Beats me.

As for Jaggery itself, I found no particularly damning information but also no information that sets my mind at ease. When it comes to sugar cane, farming practices are anyone's guess in terms of what country it was grown in, and what kinds of crazy chemicals have gone on it, so perhaps it's best to go organic.

When it comes to the reported health benefits of Jaggery, the only scientific study I could find was one where rats were given jaggery after being exposed to dusty environments. It's called "Enhanced translocation of particles from lungs by jaggery.", by A.P Sahu and A. K. Saxena. They did actually find that the legends were correct: Jaggery does help those with dust exposure to clear their lungs. Why did they test that on rats and not people? I'm exposed to plenty of dust as a potter and wouldn't mind being fed jaggery by the scientific community!

So, the verdict on Jaggery: not an A+ ... but definitely better than regular sugar.

Here's some other sugar substitutes that can be enjoyed without supporting evil Domino:

Maple Sugar: Once again, usually a cottage or family industry. Actually, a pretty big one in Geauga County where I grew up. No bone char involved.

Agave Nectar: Raw. Organic. A little pricey and not as versatile.

Turbinado or "Raw Sugar": The closest to white sugar as you can get, but still no bone char! Slightly less processed than white sugar, with just a hint of the molasses flavor left in it.

On a related note, brown sugar buyer, beware: it's bone char processed, too!

"We might not know it, but it is a proven fact that there is something non-vegetarian about the normal granulated white sugar and even our brown sugar. Bone char derived from cow bones is used to whiten and decolorize the sugar. Brown sugar which is made by adding molasses to refined sugar also uses the bone char process in its production. As opposed to this, turbinado sugar is one of the few sweeteners that is not refined by the use of bone char. " -Parul Solanki

If anyone has any more sugar information for me, please, please leave me a comment, or send me an email or facebook message!

Modding the Mocha Mama (or, vegan cookie time!)

2010-08-22T16:30:00.001-05:00

Whenever I hang out at Jeff's (@vegancookiemon) house, somehow we always end up making cookies. Or brownies. Or homemade orange soda pop.

Isa Chandra Moskowitz and Terry Hope Romero's "Vegan Cookies Invade Your Cookie Jar" is the general vegan cookie bible.We've been trying recipes out of there for a while now, but I think our general favorite so far was the Mocha Mama. Of course, we modded it. Here are the mods from the original recipe:

We used 1 tbsp of instant coffee and 1/2 cup of brown sugar and 1/2 cup of regular sugar in the cookie recipe. For the peanut butter filling, I used leftover filling from my vegan reeses (which I'll post as soon as I get a picture of). The only ingredients in the filling are natural organic peanut butter and powdered sugar. I suggest starting with a quarter cup of each and adding sugar until it's the consistency you want.

I cut the cookies open with a sharp knife (be careful!) and lay the peanut butter filling in between them like this. Yay! Cookies!

Veganizing Paula Deen

2010-08-20T21:48:00.000-05:00

Paula Deen loves butter, so I don't think she's going to be veganizing anytime soon. Her recipes, however, can probably be fixed so they're not quite as much of a heart attack on a plate.

I saw Paula Deen this week in the checkout line, staring at me from the cover of her July/August cooking magazine with a spoon in her hand, relaxing in front of a giant trifle cake, smiling as if she was about to eat the whole thing. No, seriously. Next time you're bored waiting for your cashier, look at her. She really does look like she's about to eat a whole cake.

Anyway. There's a bazillion recipes in here so I'm going to start EASY. Her "Table for Two" section menu consists of Salmon Croquettes, Savannah Red Rice, Lemon Butter Asparagus, and Blackberry Crumble. I'm going to really need to think about how I'm going to handle the croquettes and the crumble so that they're animal-free, but as close to Paula's recipe as possible otherwise. But, the other ones, well, let's see if this works:

Savannah Red Rice (Vegan Version):

1 tablespoon olive oil
1/2 cup finely chopped onion
1/4 finely chopped celery
1/4 cup finely chopped red bell pepper
1 clove garlic, minced
1 cup uncooked white rice
2 cups vegetable broth OR water
1/4 tsp salt
1 can diced tomatoes, drained
2 tablespoons tomato paste
1/8 teaspoon ground red pepper

In a large saucepan, heat oil over medium-high heat. Add onion, celery, bell pepper, and garlic; saute until tender. Stir in rice, broth, and salt. Cover, and bring to a boil. Reduce heat, and simmer until liquid absorbs. Stir in tomatoes, tomato paste, and red pepper.

That one was easy- just change the animal broth.

float float float

2010-08-19T03:36:00.002-05:00

I practice on my tablet every day now. I want to be better at drawing. Perhaps now I could illustrate the covers of romance novels. *Sigh.*

Here is a song about sea sleepers.

((we are not perfect, but we should try))

In a parallel dream I longed us to be sea sleepers. Tethered to the ocean floor by our ankles we moved like seaweed with our eyelids closed. When we awoke we were buried in white covers, light as soft.

And the pale sun coming in through the window made squares of yellow on the bare floor.

I dreamt you were a lawyer and I was married to someone else.

I dreamt I shivered in a grey cold, all in white, as the barges moved out to lake. Industrial metal was bolted at forty-five degree angles always, rusting patternless. I made threats and promises. I shook and shook in a white dress, daring to scream at the sea.

"Do you feel better now?" I thought I heard someone say but I was shivering, dripping, covered in salt & couldn't hear anyone clearly at all. On the way home I got saltwater all over the seat mats of the car. Nobody said anything.

The next night I dreamt I was a creature of glamour and fashion, handling lines and blocks of color in a watercolor notebook. What name did I sign at the bottom? It was not my own. Perhaps at the time I did not recognize it.

My nightmares are ridiculous now. We sleep like stones, heavy until the moment we open our eyes. This comes with aging and I accept it. When I have insomnia I pretend I am drowning, but it doesn't have the effect it once did: I have forgotten what vast water is like.

How to Make Your Own Rice Milk at Home

2010-08-17T13:39:00.002-05:00

$3.99 for a half gallon carton of rice milk at the store? Nuh-uh. Not me. I won't buy it.

Whether you're dairy-free, vegan, hate the dairy subsidies, or just want to save money, this recipe is cheap, easy, and frugal. And it's pretty good for you, too.

You'll need:

Water
A Blender
Cooked Rice
Some Kind of Sugar: (white granulated, jaggery, agave syrup, you name it. If it's sweet, give it a try. I used jaggery and Mina thinks my rice milk is fabulous.)
Optional flavorings: Pure vanilla extract, Pure almond extract, Chai spicies, something else you're thinking of....
Packaging: Save an orange juice container, gallon jug, or tetra pack to store your rice milk in.

Basic Recipe:

Step One: Cook and cool the rice. Or, if you're clever, you're already using last night's leftover rice and all you need to do is blend away.
Step Two: You'll need about a quarter cup of COOKED rice per blender full of water. Sweetener is to taste but I would suggest starting with a tablespoon of sugar per blender full, or a couple of shaves off the jaggery lump. Keep going as you blend until you get the taste you want.
Step Three: Blend the rice, water, any extracts or spices, and sweetener for a while. The longer you blend, the less there is to strain out.
Step Four: Strain and funnel into your container. If you blend properly (on high for at least three minutes) you shouldn't need to strain at all. Water down as necessary: depending on the kind of rice you use, it might need watering down.

Vanilla Chai Rice Milk:

Add:
** Substitute the water for iced black tea **
1/2 tsp. vanilla extract
1 tsp. cinnamon
1/2 tsp. ground cloves
1/2 tsp. nutmeg
and a tiny pinch of cayenne pepper if you want it to have a bit of a kick!

(all two things have a destiny together)

2010-08-14T20:09:00.000-05:00

all two things have a destiny together.
i could be happy; but i will not be
i am what i am meant for. you think that's meant for me-
i really don't know. that's on you.
i only feel what i'm meant to do.

o, dearest & dearest
allow me to spread out & give me space to be what i am
like hair in water i spread out
like smoke in air i spread out
cut off my physicality, remove my swinishness,
and i will breathe night air again and know

these you could do for me, and watch me weep
breeding greater joy. i could be happy,
but my days are nothing gold.
i will move in and out of these doors
slowly growing old.
there is no underwater anymore except in memory.
there is nothing but memory left to hold.

if i am meant to haunt the rooms of this place
then that is what i am. and if you were meant
to remove me from these halls,
then i will go with you. i suppose
there is nothing more that i'm supposed to do;
behind this smile hides a nervous grimace,
but it has nothing to do with you. yellow dresses are a lie,
flowers tied and sunday drives, too.
but i think i'm meant to know them, one way or not,
i might be rotting but life is still my pull-along toy.
i could be happy in this seasonless world,
where there is no true pain and no true joy.

Ow, Jonny just threw the ice cream maker at me!

2010-08-12T16:02:00.000-05:00

"Ow!" says the little boy, clutching his crotch. "Jonny just threw the ice cream maker at me!!"

Pipe down, little squids. With the advance of modern technology, this is entirely possible. Of course, I'm talking about the Play and Freeze Mega Ice Cream Maker, also known as the Ice Cream Ball.

So what happens when they combine an ice cream maker with a soccer ball? The idea is simple- you add rock salt in one end, and ice cream maker mix (uh, do they mean ingredients? is everything made from a mix these days? I thought it was just milk/milk replacer and sugar?) in the other end. Then you chuck it at your friends.

I can imagine these becoming very popular, because Americans love to throw things at each other.

So, what other hybrid products could become available on the market?

Telephone + Shower Head: You're having a conversation with someone while water spurts out and cleans your ears.

Mug + Flat Screen TV: Don't miss a second of your favorite shows while you're sipping your coffee.
Play Sand + Clumping Kitty Litter: Probably not sanitary.

I'll think of more later. You're welcome to think of some too, just put them in the comments... and we'll see if anyone's made that product already.

Green Hummus Recipe with Kale and Collards (Vegan)

2010-08-11T18:14:00.000-05:00

One of the changes I've been trying to make lately is to eat more greens. Kale, Collard Greens, Mustard Greens, Turnip Greens and Beet Greens, as well as dark lettuces, all have important nutrients, fiber, and minerals that my body needs. They're low-calorie and high-energy, with a low glycemic impact. As much as just chowing down on a collard green leaf is easy and delicious, it can't be the only way I get my greens in.

Hummus is delicious, but it's expensive when you buy it at the store. Make it at home to get more. This is a great cheap party recipe, if you're throwing a social on a budget.

Most grocery stores carry Tahini but the price is kind of jacked up- a six-buck tub will last you forever, because you only need a couple spoonfuls per batch.

What is Tahini? From the product website: Tahini is a thick paste made from crushed sesame seeds. High in protein and other nutrients. It is a flavorful base for appetizer spreads and salad dressings. Kosher too!! This item is part of the healthy Mediterranean diet that has been proven to reduce heart disease and cancer and significantly increase the average life span.

Here's everything you'll need:

1 can of chick peas / garbanzo beans (they're the same)
1 tablespoon of tahini
1/2 teaspoon of cumin
1 teaspoon of salt
1/2 cup of water, set aside.
3 leaves of Greens (Kale and/or Collards)
1 clove of garlic, de-skinned
any other spices that tickle your fancy: dill, oregano, basil, garlic powder, onion powder, cayenne pepper... go ahead, customize it!

-Throw all the ingredients in the food processor, except the water. Blend it up. SLOWLY add the water until the hummus is the texture and viscosity you like it. Some people like it creamy, others like it soupy, others yet like it more like a pate. This is totally up to you, young cavalier. Wield thy power with care.

It should look kind of like this, though.

Whole-Wheat Crossed Biscuits with Rosemary Sage Topping (Vegan)

2010-08-09T21:56:00.000-05:00

Here's an easy bread recipe for a savory biscuit that I created the other night. We had a red onion from the CSA (community supported agriculture) box we receive every Saturday, and my mom doesn't really like onions, so I used it in this way. Mom thought the biscuits were delicious. The best part is that they're a fluffy bread that doesn't need yeast.

You'll need:

2 cups whole wheat flour
2/3 cup water
1/3 cup grapeseed oil (not rapeseed or canola- it's different! Try Mantova Grapeseed Oil 34 Oz)
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
***
one clove of garlic
1/2 red onion
1 tsp sea salt
1 tbsp grapeseed oil
2 tsp dried sage
1 tbsp dried rosemary

For the bread:
Sift the flour, baking powder, and baking soda into a bowl. Add the water and Grapeseed oil and stir until it becomes a dough. Keep mixing with your hands if you have to. Knead it just a bit until everything is one solid lump.

Then, cover it and let it be for AT LEAST 45 minutes. This allows the gluten in the flour to get nice and stretchy. Meanwhile, make the flavoring / topping.

For the Flavoring / Topping

Take the skin off the onion, cut it into chunks, and place in a food processor with the garlic, sage, rosemary, and grapeseed oil. Mix in the food processor until it looks like a salsa.

When the bread dough has been sitting for enough time, divide the "salsa" in half. Knead the first half in with the bread and let it sit for five more minutes. This added moisture should make the bread dough softer. Divide it into little biscuit shapes and slash and "X" shape across the top with a sharp knife. I like to slash pretty deep.

Fill in the slashes with the remaining "salsa" mixture. Bake for 20-25 minutes at 350 degrees, or until the tops start to get brown and the onion mixture turns into a savory, delicious herb crusting.

Here's how they look before cooking. And after cooking:

For the Love of Cats...

2010-08-08T17:21:00.003-05:00

I moved my cat Greybert into the new house today, and she's hiding under the bed right now. Poor Grey. I'm sure she'll get used to the new house soon. I bought her some new toys to ease the transition, a new litterbox, and a food bowl that I made in college, but she's not enjoying any of them until she hides under the bed for at least a few hours. I understand, Grey Bert. Moving is tough!

I got her this scratcher and covered it with catnip. This way I can save the really awesome couches I got on Craigslist from being torn to shreds.

I love Cats. Every month, I donate to the Cleveland APL a portion of the proceeds from Meganjohn.net. I say proceeds and not profits because my business is so new, it is not actually making profits yet.

There are some items in my shop that you can buy so that all the proceeds go to the APL's second chance fund. The money in this fund provides medical care to animals in need.

5 Big Ceramic Buttons - All proceeds to Charity - meganjohn.net - $12.50

There's a number of other items too, from all different price ranges. Not only do you get the joy of getting something cool in the mail, but you also get the joy of knowing that somewhere, there's a kitty or puppy getting the care they need, all because of you.

Vegan Soul Food - Gingersnap Yams

2010-08-06T23:04:00.001-05:00

Tonight I gave these yams a try... they're just your basic roasted yams with molasses and chopped fresh ginger. They're very good and soul-food-y, and pretty nutritious (if you're calling them a dessert!)

You'll need:

- One yam, scrubbed, rinsed and chopped into slices
- Enough grapeseed oil to coat the yam slices
- 1/3 cup Brown Sugar
- 1 or 2 tbps. Molasses, according to taste
-2 tbsp. fresh ginger root, chopped into as itty bitty pieces as you can make 'em
- An earthenware casserole, or something like it

***

Pour some oil into the casserole and coat the yams in it. Arrange the yams so they're slightly overlapping in the casserole. Drizzle mollasses on top of everything, then sprinkle the cut-up ginger bits on, and shake the brown sugar on top.

Bake for 40-50 minutes in a 350 degree oven.

The sugar should cook down into the molasses and the ginger should remain flecked on top, but infuse a snappy taste into the yam sauce. Toss the yams in the sauce that pools at the bottom before serving.

Chocolate Mint Marshmallow Creme Cupcakes (...vegan!!)

2010-08-05T04:01:00.005-05:00

Making cupcakes with my Vegan boyfriend tonight (@vegancookiemon). Fun! And a great way to celebrate the repeal of Prop 8! **YAAAY***

So, using a recipe rather modded from Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World by Isa Chandra Moskowicz (et all?), we made some rather lovely looking chocolate mint cupcakes with marshmallow filling.

It's a good thing we have plenty of soymilk, because these things are a sugar bomb!

The marshmallow filling came from Nature's Bin in Lakewood, and the brand name is Suzanne's -- it's technically called Suzanne's Ricemellow Creme. The only sweetener is brown rice syrup: this marshmallow creme is gluten free, and vegan, with no corn or cane sweeteners.

If you aren't near Lakewood, here's how you can get ahold of this stuff:

So here are the mods:

Make the basic chocolate cupcake recipe in the book, but add in some extra mint extract.
When the cupcakes have baked, fill them with the Vegan Marshmallow Creme. Do this by sticking a finger in and then spooning the marshmallow creme inside. I kinda had to push it in.

We made the icing as per the recipe, but I was a little displeased with the consistency of it- after all, it's an icing and I wanted a frosting - so I added some more powdered sugar. It never got quite to the frosting threshold but I suppose I like the way it melted.

After that I added the chocolate ganache (the recipe's in the book) and other decorations: flowery little confections and cherries-on-top.

Curry Coleslaw (Raw, Vegan)

2010-08-04T17:43:00.003-05:00

**Post Edit** ... eating a bowl of leftovers today, I thought I'd include a photo...

I just made this about five minutes ago and it's delicious, and rediculously quick to make.

1 head of green cabbage, chopped
1/2 cup of shredded, flaked coconut
1/4 cup of raw walnuts
2 tbsp of lemon juice
1/4 of Grapeseed Oil or Olive Oil
1/4 cup of soy sauce (or Nama Shoyu)
4 tbsp sesame seeds
1 tbsp of India seasoning mix, OR- (1/3 tsp tumeric, 1/2 tsp curry, 1/2 tsp cumin)

In a large bowl, toss everything together until the cabbage is coated. If you want, you can let it sit in the fridge for a while and then toss it again.

This recipe is another mod of another raw vegan curry cabbage dish which didn't have the walnuts in it... and I adjusted the proportions of everything to include more of what I like. Plainly speaking, this recipe won't blow up if you change some proportions... let's say it's all to taste. It's super healthy, but it doesn't taste like diet food.

The Sea and Sleep

2010-08-04T03:29:00.004-05:00

Some sea collages I've been enjoying lately:

click on them to make them larger because part of the fun is the textures, especially the halftones. the top one is really an 11x17 poster, so i lost a lot of detail when i shrunk it down.

O well. They are doodles. I do not remember what it feels like to be the sea.

A Random Raw Vegan Pate Recipe

2010-08-03T20:25:00.007-05:00

Flipping through Ani Phyo's "Ani's Raw Food Kitchen" inspired me to make a savory pate last night around 3 AM.

We didn't have any lemon and certainly not enough sunflower seeds to make the recipe in the book, so we kind of made one up based on what was in the fridge. I guess you'll have to buy the book to get the real recipe but I found this one to be quite delicious for a late-night craving.

With carrot sticks and collards it was a treat worthy of buying a pate knife!

Our Random Raw Vegan Pate

- 1 cup (or so) of sunflower seeds
- 1/2 cup (or so) of raw pumpkin seeds
- 2 cloves of garlic
- a cup of water, set aside
- your favorite seasonings (we used rosemary, dill, and something else that I don't really remember because it was 3 am)

- Collard leaves for wrapping it up in
- Carrot Sticks sliced thin

Pop the sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds, garlic, spices, and a little bit of the water into the food processor. Vroom the food processor until things are mixed together.

Keep adding water and vrooming until you get a pate consistency.

Serve on a plate with the collards and carrots on the side. Enjoy!

The CSA has started! (and a spicy kale recipe with daal)

2010-08-02T20:47:00.002-05:00

This year, Mom signed us up for a CSA share with Geauga Family Farms. This means that every Saturday Mom drives ten minutes to the drop off location and picks up a box of yummy veggie goodies.

This past Saturday was the first pick up day, and we got quite a bunch of goodies! It came with a cabbage, some red lettuce, a fancy onion, a couple zucchinis, two fat green peppers, two cucumbers, a box of little tomatoes, a regular looking tomato, and a big bouquet of basil! Yay veggies!

Here's a link to the about page for the CSA:

http://geaugafamilyfarmsllc.org/About.htm

I think it's pretty awesome to be connected so closely to at least some of the food I eat. In the meantime, or should I say, in the GREENtime, here is a recipe with Kale in it that turned out pretty nice today:

Onion Daal with Kale

- 1 cup of pale orange daal
- 1.5 cups green onions that have been chopped into 1 inch pieces
- A Couple Handfuls of Kale, chopped
- 1 bell pepper, cut into chunks
- Tumeric
- A little fresh Ginger, minced
- 1 clove fresh garlic, minced
- 1 hot pepper (or maybe less, it got a bit spicy there), chopped into itty bitty pieces
- Some olive oil

Boil the daal in water until it's soft and mushy. In the meantime, heat up a little olive oil in a stir-fry pan. Add the green onions and cook them up. Next, add the chopped bell pepper and kale, and the fresh spices (ginger, garlic, hot pepper). Stir them to coat them in the oil.

After that, add the cooked daal, along with any water that comes along with it. You might want to add a little water here, too- it should be kind of soupy. Add the tumeric and some salt to taste. Cook the whole mixture on medium heat until everything has been cooked down, and enough of the water evaporates to make it an appetizing mixture.

Serve and enjoy.

* * *

eat greens, ride bike, draw : two of three.

Christmas Shopping in July

2010-08-01T17:04:00.003-05:00

--- Warning! If you are my mom or one of my aunts, this post contains spoilers! Turn around right now, mom!! Don't ruin the surprise!---

I think Christmas in July is a silly idea, created by the big companies to market to us during the drudging summer months.

Christmas shopping, in July, however, is not a silly idea. After all, things are kind of slow right now, so why not start thinking about the holidays now? Get a cardboard box to store things safely and make a list of all your giftable friends and relatives. Then head off to Etsy and start searching, and get ready to spend the winter months relaxing while everyone is frantically hitting the malls!

I do all my holiday shopping on Etsy and from other craftspeople. There's really no reason not to. After all, I'd rather have my money go to real people than to evil corporations. Here's some of the treasures I've found so far:

For my Mom, who loves copper jewelry and funky earrings:

Amoeba Amethyst Glass Earrings, handmadeweirdo.com, $12

These earrings arrived in what felt like no time, looking gorgeous, with a little extra surprise to boot! Doing business with Anna Leroy of handmadeweirdo.com was a joy and the whole transaction was easy as pie.

For my Aunt Becky, who is a horse lover, I found these:

Mare and Foal Notecards, http://melissalynnd.etsy.com, $7

These pencil sketches are gorgeous. This artist out of Minnesota has a real gift for realistic horse drawings and all of her artwork is extremely affordable. Once again, it was another flawless transaction and the notecards showed up ready for wrapping paper! I have a feeling that Aunt Becky is going to love them.

And, last but not least, for my Aunt Rosemary, who teaches piano and loves music, I found:

Piano Keys Blank Notecards, Set of Six: http://papercreationsbydeb.etsy.com , $10

Once again, a flawless Etsy transaction from a seller with high-quality wares. These notecards came with great packaging and I love the fact that they're versatile: My aunt will be able to place whatever she wants inside the piano frame, such as photos or notes. I have a feeling she'll be able to use them as thank you cards for the gifts that her students will give her this holiday.

So; there you have it, Christmas Shopping part 1; --- To go I have Grandpa Dan and Grandma Gerry; Grandma Nikki, A couple cousins and my Bro. Can't wait to see what kind of gems I dig up for them, but you can bet I'll blog about it!

Turban Girl and the Happy Snake Man

2010-07-29T17:57:00.004-05:00

(Turban Girl and the Happy Snake Man, meganjohn.net, $30)

My dreams have been strange lately. Many dreams involving parking tickets, and fines. Restaurant chairs, odd-colored skies, people from my life and my past.

When I paint on clay, usually it is a straight, vaporous line between subconscious and clay. Thoughts travel via the paintbrush. I listen to music and read magazines. I go for drives up route 90 to Common Grounds, which is packed with scene girls and ICP kids. I overhear things:

"If YOU had 50 pounds of cheerios, what would YOU do with it?"

"Dude, I'd like, bathe in them, or something."

I stuff my eyes and ears with things I want. Fashion and gasoline. Eyes eyes eyes.

Then I return to the studio to paint and pinch clay.

i know you do

2010-07-28T01:33:00.000-05:00

Draw? Check. Bike? Check. Eat greens? Check.

Treasures of the Kiln

2010-07-27T22:54:00.003-05:00

(Strength Pendant, meganjohn.net, $16)

Today I continued to post new items that came out of the kiln onto Etsy. One of the more dazzling items that came out of the kiln was the Strength Pendant. Ooh, I just want to keep it! But it'll give some inspiration to someone else, I am sure.

Part of me wants to hit the studio later tonight and roll out some clay. I do want to make some mugs or something. It's been a while since I've made mugs.

11 Year Old Girl: "Pop a Glock and Make a Brain Slushie"

2010-07-27T22:07:00.003-05:00

Um, what is going on with this whole Jessie Slaughter thing? Well, today I am hanging out in a coffee shop watching viral videos and discussing their glorious controversies.

There's an 11 year old girl wearing a Blood on the Dance Floor shirt ranting and raving, shouting obscenities that I didn't know at age 11. She threatens her "Haters" that she'll "Pop a Glock and Make a Brain Slushie", amongst other things. Now she's a viral video as well as a cyberstalking victim.

She's amusing to watch, though. In the way that it's amusing to watch anyone underage rant and rave while threatening violence. She's like a mean, defensive version of Boxxy!

Hint: if you're seeking the antidote to viral fame, stop posting videos. The urge to get the last word may be strong, but... oh goodness. Parents, watch your 11 year olds. Keep them from posting youtube videos wearing revealing clothing. This is a parent's job. I said some stupid things at 11, but that was while the Internet was crawling out of Al Gore's womb and YouTube didn't exist yet.

every day.

2010-07-27T01:29:00.004-05:00

there are some things i should be doing every day:

drawing, biking, and eating my greens.

Two out of three.

Give Me Things

2010-07-26T15:11:00.004-05:00

There's new art up on meganjohn.net: "Give Me Things". $22

I made this at my studio while Melissa Horner was there working on her commissions. I spent the time listening to MC Chris and flipping through (and drawing out of) old YM magazines from 2003.

Teen girl magazines are funny, greedy, and disturbing. Nobody can achieve that lifestyle- at least not on a budget and while maintaining health.

Greed has always been a theme in my art. After all, who doesn't have a hard time drawing the line between greed and ambition? Satisfaction and laziness? Wanting what you have and being afraid of taking risks to get more out of life?

Well, now it's on a salt dish.