Friday, June 18

you can relax now i could snap off all the tips of my fingers,
now i can wash my entire face off and be nothing.
i can only trust you will see nothing,
or i pretend you have magic powers & can see me ghost.
i was wrapped in tapestry, about to flower
to get calm

these were quiet moments- there was none
of this showboat and sway- none of this barking,
this banter give-and-take---
just a sleepy stare forward in the car, in the dark.
i feel a touch on my sleeve; silver fishes turn over in the lake.

lips together, the wordlessness
is never tightfisted. there is no stinginess there
though the words are spare. there is only a sense of rest-
eyes closed tight,
i swear i saw flowers just then!! i clenched my fists and almost said,
do you know what you're doing? - no words escaped my lungs that night.

i saw flowers and stars.
two hollow creatures met in the dream world.

i make the same drive all the time
through the rows of columned houses, down the boulevard.
with envy i salivate and wonder how to stay alive.

i make the same drive years in a row
day to day. in the wintertime i think i'll have a home
sometime- sleek cars cut though the air beside me
like sharpened knives. nothing glows
when i'm alone, when i'm behind the wheel.
sometimes tears pool in my eyes but they flow
and roll towards Lake Erie before i even recognize what it is i feel.

please don't drive in the snow.
i have no radio but i know there are storms coming tonight.
you can call your parents tomorrow.
i will hide you on the couch downstairs.
don't be in a hurry to leave.
i am made of air.
air moves around me like water.
i will bubble to the surface--
don-t go -- i will freeze.
you will be stuck in the snow; you're a horrible driver--
i will never see you again!

and i ran down the stark stairs
which smelled like disinfectant and winter boots
so the last thing i heard was the door latching
and the sound of your car keys

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