11 instances of the sea and silence (my sweet ghost)

1. on the concrete barrier

well it’s not an ocean,

vast and encompassing

Lake Erie, my industrial bathtub

is dark and scary enough for me.

or to stand on the concrete decay & feel vast

(this is my home, i am coming home)

2. 

downtown in december, I ask the fortune teller

If I will achieve the life of my dreams.

She tells me it won’t be easy

(wandering around ohio city after dark,

Stopping in Puerto Rican restaurants to avoid the cold)

3.

Starlight is your lantern,

You turn your eyes towards the interstate

4.

///elegant

5.

  one again, lake erie is not the sea. In my model dress, spinning on the carpet, all angles

The air float of RTA bus (levitation)

I became something holy then

6.   

Here is where I meet you but do not say it.

Here is where I realize how silly it must be to love you.

It hurts a little; because knowing that is knowing

 that I will never again love anyone.

You are the moon

Youarethemoonyouarethemoon
I am just lonely, I suppose

"I am baking a rum cake, will you come home?"
 

7. 

please don’t go.

I didn’t mean it.

It is not silly to love you.

I am a little broken, bear with me.

I grew up loving ghosts!

I am reminded of Nettie’s face,

Pink and puffy, smeared mascara

Dripping and streaking,

onto her corkscrew hair, green eyes

racked with salt– o she looked awful

O she looked silly, but it doesn’t matter

My sweet girl

8. SHE HOLDS HER BREATH  

breathes in air / tiny pearls

iridescent bulb, white teeth

I / me / you / your

The tile wall

The bathroom floor

9.

I am with you now.

Perhaps we will shed these bodies yet.

Your ghost spreads out in mine

Like diffusing smoke in a dark room,

Two breaths blending in the icy air

Now we are free to hate our corpses,

To leave them & laugh at them

( o that was a sickly body I had,

I knew you were the moon all along)

now free from the pressure to love myself
i become all things

10. SEA LULLABYE

 sleep now

angel, airport, honeybee

you are a ghost

and I am the sea

11

silence is my default,

I have not worked out the logic--

silence lends me purity. i do not have to deal.

(how to put my love to work for you

oh how to sell it, cash it in

Like any other gold thing someone gave you)

it rains outside. you stand in the door.

I am standing on your doorstep,

About to speak

But I never say anything